youre lurking in front of me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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