Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize