Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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