shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
