How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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