just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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