hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
