There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
