some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
