I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
