My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
