Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
