I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
