sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize