I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
