Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
