THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think people are normalizing furries
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
