Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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