Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
