So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
