Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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