mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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