This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
