haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
