Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
