dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Randomize
