he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
