Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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