I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
