the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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