I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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