Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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