i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
smell my finger.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
