I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
