At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
