We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize