they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
zippers are such a cool invention
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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