Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
