wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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