Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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