Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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