Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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