I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize