It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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