Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
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So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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