Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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