We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
