How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
