Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
