Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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