I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
