So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
