I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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