make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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