I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
