soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
