he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
