FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
