Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
