i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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