I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
