I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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